Saturday, May 13, 2006

Six Months

It's been around six months since my long-time girlfriend and me broke up. I still don't know why it happened. I wanted it continue. But I suppose life had other plans for me. It took me a whole year to get into the relationship completely. And then it went on for another four and a half beautiful years. I turned from being someone scared to express my feelings into a carefree soul.

When she decided to take it one step further, I was hesitant. But I went along. Only to find myself standing alone four months later. She started the relationship and ended it and I don't know why. I hold nothing against her. But there are days when it hurts. Today is one of those days.

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

Sorry about the bout of self-pity. It's not like me.


EspritNoir said...

Life's filled with days like these. Unfortunate, but true. If you read Calvin & Hobbes, theres a line that Calvin's dad tell Calvin all the time. Almost anything unpleasant "will build character..." So, despite the pain, you can rejoice in the fact that at least you're building character. Most days, thats how i handle pain. Thanks for your comments on my post. Your blog seems good too...Without getting too deep into it, this post particularly struck a chord...Will be back. Cya:)

Alexys Fairfield said...

That's the catalyst of love. It takes us to places we haven't been before and sometimes leaves us clinging to a rock.

And THAT's precisely the time when God extends its hand to take us to the next experience where we can love once more.

It's all part of the life's process. We love, we cry, we learn, we love again.

We will always love, it's the nature of who we are.

Noojes said...

I call in introspection and I personally think its healthy to be aware of what we are feeling...

Feel it all :)

"H" is your letter...


Ajeya said...

esprit... thx for dropping by. reading your blog inspired this post. hope to see you around

alexys... we will always be able to love and be loved. i truly believe that.

noojes... yeah, bit of introspection and a bit of not being able to let go. but i have to. will work on the 'H' list :)

namrata said...

Listen as your day unfolds ,
Challenge what the future holds ,
Try and keep your head up to the sky ,
Lovers, they may cause you tears ,
Go ahead release your fears ,
Stand up and be counted ,
Don't be ashamed to cry ,
You gotta be ,
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold ,
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard ,
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger ,
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm ,
You gotta stay together ,
All I know, all I know, love will save the day ......

haathi said...

is that a backstreet boys song?!! i can still recognise it.

sometimes self pity and retrospection and introspection and all these different emotions is exactly what we need, to come to terms with something that doesnt exist anymore..sometimes its just what we need to move on completely. so i dont think its bad to think back and feel whatever you might be feeling


Ajeya said...

haathi... yeah, that is backstreet boys and I'm not ashamed :) I've moved on pretty much. just that sometimes it comes back and floods my mind. I guess it will stop gradually.