Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Time for Some Navel-Gazing

The last couple of months have been way too hectic, been extremely stressful at times and passed before I knew what was happening. Work has simply consumed my life! Not in little nibbles, but in one massive Gargantuan bite.

I have to admit, I've never had to work this hard before. I'm not complaining, just observation. A lot of changes have taken place in my life in the past few months... a young business, marriage and all that both of these entail. I really haven't had too much time for my personal life or time to stop, think and introspect. I enjoy doing that. I'm one of those people who can sit by the ocean, listening to the chatter of the waves by myself for hours thinking of nothing. Just spacing out.

I love 'spacing'. It allows me into a little world of my own. Far away from the 'realities' of life. Spacing is good. It gives my mind room to breathe, clears out the muck albeit temporarily, knocks away my fears and, for a fleeting moment, rids me of my burdensome ego. That's what I love about it.

I want to go back to Rishikesh, spend a month there learning yoga, breathe in some cleaner air and forget myself for sometime.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Fruit of Dedication

While the country basks, vicariously, in A.R. Rahman's and Resul Pookutty's glory, the achievement almost seemed to be a reflection of a train of thought that has been running through my head for a while; the fruit of dedication.

Often, when I introspect and attempt to examine my life objectively, one of the most interesting observations I've made is the effect dedicated effort has on me, the actor i.e. the person propagating the action whomsoever it may be.

Whether it's my work, running, playing football or relationships, dedication and giving my best has always made a world of a difference. When I don't give my best, there are three things that happen:
1. I think about the fruit of the action more than the action itself.
2. The action/effort lacks that edge.
3. I feel unhappy because deep down I know I haven't given my best.

On the other hand, when I do act with dedication and my 100%, those same three reactions turn the other side of their respective coins as it were:
1. Because I derive joy from the action itself my mind doesn't need to go to the fruit in search of more happiness.
2. The action/effort is incisive, effective and more often than not, achieves its objective.
3. There is a sense of calm because I know I have given my everything.

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Even the most insignificant actions performed dedicatedly give immense satisfaction. The very satisfaction that I seek every moment of my life. The difficulty though, is being able to perform at that high level thought after thought, action after action.

I realise I'm not writing anything extraordinary or hitherto undiscovered, but it's a thought that's been playing in my head for a while now.

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Long Time Coming

It's been a long time coming, this post. There's been too much happening through the week and on weekends, I don't feel like coming back to a screen. More than anything, I think my blogging suffered a brief dip in motivation.

The marathon this year was challenging. I don't think I was fit enough or motivated enough. I found running an effort. I missed playing football, so while heart was on the football pitch, my legs were on Marine Drive. I guess it reflected in my time for the 21 km run, I managed 2 hours 11 minutes and 48 seconds. That's about 11 minutes slower than last year so it hurt my ego initially. At the end of the race though, I felt good I had kept my promise to myself to run the race and complete it. I don't know if I'll run the marathon again next year or ever again. I'll make that decision when I need to.

Otherwise, work is going reasonably well. Interesting projects, a lot of work for me and a fair bit of multi-tasking, something that is new to me. Nothing to complain about in these times of global economic gloom.

As for married life? So far, so good. :) That's my verdict. The happiness and the challenges it offers you are incomparable really. Exhilarating at times, frustrating at others... but definitely worth it. :)

I can say one thing for sure, marriage has done my football a lot of good! :) I'm just loving being out on the ground 3-4 times a week, running all over the place and scoring more than the odd goal. ;) I don't know what it is, but I'm just super motivated to play football these days. My long-term football objective is to get on the amateur team at my neighbourhood park next year. We'll see how that comes along.

I've been away too long to pack in all that's happened into this post but I think I will be more regular with posts. I feel like writing.