Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Final Touch

So my ex and me put the final touch to our break-up. I met her on Monday evening. She came over to meet my mom and me to pay her condolences and also because she and my dad were very close. She had become a part of the family. That's why the break-up was even harder when it happened.

She spent some time at home with mom and me and then we went for a long drive. I was wondering if she would get down to the serious stuff first so I waited for a bit. But it was me who had to get it started.

I told her I was sorry for the mistakes I made and that I never had any intention of hurting her. I had been true to the relationship till the very end. And then she said she was sorry too. But then she said something interesting. She said it wasn't my fault or her fault. 'We have changed', she said. We had changed so much that we would not be able to make each other happy. I accepted her point of view but I disagree fundamentally.

I don't think we can drop relationships just because the people involved change. Love is the basis of any relationship in my opinion and true love is unconditional. It stays for better or for worse. Your mother or father wont drop the relationship because you have changed. They learn to relate to you differently within the relationship.

Anyway, that's what happened. I told her I was grateful to God, her and her family for all the times we shared together and that I had grown as a result of the relationship. Which I really meant. I don't think she expected that. She even told me that the break-up had been easier than she expected it to be. She thought I would rant and moan when she told me. I didn't. That surprised her. And then she said she probably never completely understood me. Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. :-)

That's how it has ended. We've decided to be friends and I told her she could call me if she ever needed any help.

Strange how I've changed also. I used to think I shouldn't let myself go too easily. I should hold back a little, I thought. But I've learnt that if you do something, whether it's a relationship, a job or even cleaning shoes, give it everything you've got. Because if you don't, you are going to be the biggest loser.

7 comments:

EspritNoir said...

"But I've learnt that if you do something, whether it's a relationship, a job or even cleaning shoes, give it everything you've got. Because if you don't, you are going to be the biggest loser."
very well said ajeya...agree with both of you slightly here. i agree with you abt true love being unconditional. being an eternal romantic at heart, i know wht u mean. but come on, man, how "true" is true love in an age of fast food, instant gratification and quick fixes? our parents wont dop the relationship with us even when we change coz they come from an era long gone. i really dont think that the current yuppie parents, whose kids grow in the arms of ayaas, and day long nurses, would have any difficulty cuttin emotional bonds with their progeny at the hint of any emotional turmoil. and the same applies in any relationship. how many ppl akly accept that "change is inevitable"? everbody wants to be in love with the person they fell in love with, forgettin that the other person will evolve as time passes by, just as they themselves have. its a good thing that you have decided to be friends tho' and wish you all the best for that. not being able to say "i love you" to that one somebody special all of a sudden,is probably one of the hardest things to do.

haathi said...

"I don't think we can drop relationships just because the people involved change. Love is the basis of any relationship in my opinion and true love is unconditional."
i couldnt agree more. part of having that special relationship with a special someone, is unconsciously accepting and loving that someone with all his/her good and bad parts. we all change, and love is something that shoudl stay fairly constant across all sorts of change.

Ajeya said...

esprit... it's true that we live in a world of instant gratification. But I'm not ready to let go of my romantic outlook of life. not yet atleast :) I'm a dreamer man, can't help myself.

haathi... true.

ramblingmuse said...

Ajeya,

Love is always there. It evolves, it changes, but love remains. It's the essence of someone that stays in your heart and memory forever. It's difficult to put it into words here, but the love you still feel for her seems more real and pure to me than the love I see in 'real life' couples I know. You know?

I like that you're a dreamer. I think most people are but they won't admit it. ;)

Sounds like it was a good meeting, and the lessons you're getting out of it are so wonderful!

Ajeya said...

Hey RM! Glad to see your blog is back up.

Yes, it was a good meeting. We were both happy at the end of it.

Noojes said...

Hey there

Sorry havent been around in a while but my life has been a bit insane as well...

I do believe that people change and that relationships can sour because of it...even between friends that happens...

Be strong though...

Loves
Noojes

Ajeya said...

noojes! long time! being strong. hope you're well.