So my ex and me put the final touch to our break-up. I met her on Monday evening. She came over to meet my mom and me to pay her condolences and also because she and my dad were very close. She had become a part of the family. That's why the break-up was even harder when it happened.
She spent some time at home with mom and me and then we went for a long drive. I was wondering if she would get down to the serious stuff first so I waited for a bit. But it was me who had to get it started.
I told her I was sorry for the mistakes I made and that I never had any intention of hurting her. I had been true to the relationship till the very end. And then she said she was sorry too. But then she said something interesting. She said it wasn't my fault or her fault. 'We have changed', she said. We had changed so much that we would not be able to make each other happy. I accepted her point of view but I disagree fundamentally.
I don't think we can drop relationships just because the people involved change. Love is the basis of any relationship in my opinion and true love is unconditional. It stays for better or for worse. Your mother or father wont drop the relationship because you have changed. They learn to relate to you differently within the relationship.
Anyway, that's what happened. I told her I was grateful to God, her and her family for all the times we shared together and that I had grown as a result of the relationship. Which I really meant. I don't think she expected that. She even told me that the break-up had been easier than she expected it to be. She thought I would rant and moan when she told me. I didn't. That surprised her. And then she said she probably never completely understood me. Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. :-)
That's how it has ended. We've decided to be friends and I told her she could call me if she ever needed any help.
Strange how I've changed also. I used to think I shouldn't let myself go too easily. I should hold back a little, I thought. But I've learnt that if you do something, whether it's a relationship, a job or even cleaning shoes, give it everything you've got. Because if you don't, you are going to be the biggest loser.