Monday, April 17, 2006

Nothing to Lose

One of the best things that have happened in the last year is that I've starting taking a lot more risks.

I quit my job sometime ago. I didn't want to look back at my life at age 50 and say 'Damn, I should've done that.' It was a big decision. The monthly paycheck is an addictive thing. And I bailed before I was hooked. I really don't know if my ideas will ever become a reality. There are days when I feel like going back to the confines of that "safe, secure" job. But deep down, I think I'd be cheating myself if I did. While I did enjoy being with fun people and the work, there was always a part of me that wasn't completely with it. Because I knew it wasn't what I really wanted to do.

So I've thrown it all up to chase my dream. Sometimes it feels like a distant reality. But there are days when I can see it materialising, I can smell the air, I can see the people, I can see it all happening. I don't know if I'll get there. But I can definitely say 'I'm trying'. And no one can take away the one thing I'm scared to lose, my dream. Nobody.

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
- Andre Gide


ramblingmuse said...

What is this dream?

I'm at a crossroads too...or getting there quickly. There's still fear, and a false sense of security with the regular paychecks.

Tell me what made you take the leap of faith? I'm about to take one myself...yikes!


haathi said...

all my life i have chosen to live a safe secure life in various little bubbles; home, school, college, etc..things cant get too difficult or complicated, except for the usual trials and tribulations. but suddenly i feel like life is forcing me out of these constructed organised bubbles now, and out of this security of orderly life, and into a vast open space where everything is going to be new and i have to find my ground and fend for myself..i think its lifes way of telling me not to get too comfortable, because thats not how the world works. and i find this change that i am about to embark on, equally scary, risky and i find its making me insecure. but i think its all for the good and in the end, we all get by [hopefully!] with a little help.. lets hope we learn to take those risks that make everything worth living for.

haathi said...
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haathi said...
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Ajeya said...

RM, the dream is kinda difficult to explain so I wont elaborate on it just now.

The fears, ah the fears, they visit me every now and then too. But it's then that I remind myself that I've really got nothing to lose.

What made me take the leap of faith? I decided I wouldn't settle for less. I didn't want to compromise on what I wanted to achieve.

haathi... i'm keeping my fingers crossed! :) but yeah, life without taking your chances is just plain boring to me. it's always a little scary but a wonderful ride, all told.

Ajeya said...

haathi... no problem with the double-comment :)