A Wedding and a Holiday

I'm off to Kerala and Bangalore tomorrow for a week and won't be blogging until I'm back. It's going to be part wedding (in the family) and part holiday.

I'm not really looking forward to the wedding bit. Technically, my uncle is getting married but he's more like a cousin, just a couple years older. He's a really nice guy and we get on well, and honestly, that's why I'm going for it. But I find family weddings a bit intimidating for the following reasons:
1. Lots of people. I don't like crowds. Nor do I fancy having people's asses on my shoulder when I'm seated on a chair trying to balance a plateful of food in one hand and eat with the other.

2. Lots of people who know you, but you don't know them. Primarily because you were crapping in your diapers when they saw you last.

3. Aforementioned people coming up to you with wide smile and asking if you remember them. Having to respond with fake smile. Painful.

4. Middle-aged women (or older) shiftily looking at you and evaluating you because you are now at a "marriageable age". Whatever that means.

5. People asking you when you're getting married. Having to respond with fake smile, again.

6. Having to dress up in ridiculous outfits in the oppressive heat resulting in sweat patches all over you making you look like you've stepped out of a workout, which incidentally I would prefer.

7. The mother of all pains, a bad shehnai player at the wedding. It makes you want to weep.

Thus, it is with great trepidation that I pack my bags and embark on this journey. I'm counting on the Kumarakom holiday and Bangalore to be the saving graces. Nonetheless, I shall face my challenges (and randomly smiling relatives) with courage.