Monday, September 11, 2006


I got an e-mail on Saturday morning from my ex-girlfriend telling me she's getting married 'soon'. I was taken completely by surprise. It was a bolt from the blue. She's marrying the same guy she told me she was 'attracted' to before we broke up. There were so many emotions flooding my mind when I first read it, shock, wonder, hurt... I don't know what else. I was caught off guard and it just felt numbing. I felt like a zombie for a couple of hours after that.

For the first time in my life, I felt tired. Tired of what life was throwing at me. The last year has been a real test for me. I thought I did OK with what I had faced earlier. But on Saturday, I was drained. Sometimes the shit gets too much to deal with. It's just that what happened earlier has taken so much out of me that this one felt like the knockout blow.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all. I know everyone has their troubles. But it's just that I've run out of a little steam right now. It's the kind of moment when you're on the mat in the boxing ring with the referee counting upto 10 and you're trying desperately to get back on your feet.

I'm pooped. Yet, I know I'll be back stronger.


Noojes said...

Whoa hang in there
But remember what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger...

And brace yourself - she will call you to tell you she is pregnant soon


Alexys Fairfield said...

I know how you feel; like a brick has just been thrown into the window of your Soul. You may feel rejected, sad and lonely, but those feelings as difficult as they are, will pass.

You will get a second wind and life will be sweet once agin. Just hang in there and don't give up. The test of life is to bob and weeve. The punches may knock you down, but not out.

Most important, believe that you are loved.

Ajeya said...

Noojes... Yeah, it's not killing me, so I'm guessing it will make me stronger

Alexys... Hanging tough Alexys. I guess this is part and parcel of life.

Satandit said...

Hey Ajeya...I remember what you had written on my blog when I had posted about Suraj, you had written some thing which meant that life's twists and turns make us stronger. And whereever,whoever,whenever,whateverhappens - it makes life so much more interesting.
Hang on...just like noojes said...that call will come.
And like alexys said...those feelins will pass....
Strength to ya & lots of hugs

Ajeya said...

Satandit... thanks a lot ya. i've hung on while the feeling lasted and i'm feeling much better.

Thanks all of you for being there. It means a lot.