Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Ok, Stop!

I had one of those 'Ok, stop!' moments. You know when you're doing something or feeling something you shouldn't be and that little voice in your head that has been softly telling you how imbecilic you've been finally says it's had enough and screams 'Ok, stop!'? That's what happened to me.

I'm feeling so much better today. Woke up early, had a good workout at the gym, pushed myself to lift a little heavier, ran a little more than I usually would and it felt simply fabulous. I thought a lot about how I was feeling, the tiredness and everything and told myself I can not let these things pull me down.

Often we get so caught up in the now that we lose sight of the bigger picture. I was so obsessed with the bad things in my life that I lost sight of everything that is going well for me. It wasn't this particular episode that got to me but it was the last straw. Kind of like the last drop of the solution that creates the precipitate in a titration experiment. (Chemistry practicals, 12th grade, it scars you for life!). Whatever... Basically, it was a lot of stuff that ended with that email

I did mail my ex congratulating her and wishing her the best for the wedding. I really am happy for her. The hurt that I felt was because I was being selfish. If I really cared for her, I should have been able to share her joy instead of feeling bad. So I've decided try and put the 'me' thought aside for a bit and be happy for a friend. What we had was fantastic while it lasted, sadly, life had other plans for us. Does that mean we shouldn't move on with our lives and be miserable forever? Of course not. I'm glad she's taken the next step with her new relationship. Graduate student life in America can be pretty lonely and it's good she's found someone she can share her life with.

And me? I've moved on too. Dated a bit since we broke up and it's been fun. Haven't dated for a while though. Crap! And therefore, still single.

7 comments:

Satandit said...

Ajeya, a close friend of mine always told me that I'm stronger than I give myself for. He also said that just like a butterfly doesnt know how beautifull it is...you are a strong person,and beautifull too...
Hang in there...sending you some of that strength and love

Satandit said...

** than i give credit to myself for**

sorry,...typo

Ajeya said...

What can I say but a humble 'thank you' for being there :-D

Noojes said...

Just hang in there n be strong and trust me you are doing a fab job at it...

Its never easy to see those that we love move on without us, leaving us behind...

But thats the time, friends stand by you - and remember 'lean on me'

Minal said...

It'll take some time to finally move on but just hang on .... trust me, there is much more to life than one failed relationship
wishes

Ajeya said...

Noojes... Thanks :) I'm feeling great today!

Minal... Thank you! There's definitely much more to life than one failed relationship. And thanks for dropping by. Welcome to the Highway! :)

anumita said...

Hey, am late but still want to say you are doing good. And one day all this will be in the past, you will look back upon fondly, without hurting.