Saturday, June 10, 2006

Bye Papa

My dad passed away last evening. 9th June, 2006 at 5 pm. We took him to hospital in the morning to conduct tests because he was in pain and before we knew it, he was gone. It's all happened really fast. We cremated the body yesterday too and I had to perform the last rites.

We shared a beautiful relationship. He simply adored me and I, him. He wouldn't listen to my mother but he would always hear me out. I am really sad that he's gone. If there were two words to describe him, they would be 'a gentle soul', make that three. He kept to himself pretty much but the lives he touched, he touched very deeply.

Sometimes I would sleep in his room when Amma ('mother' in Konkani) was away and he would cuddle me, a full grown 25 year old, like a baby. And I would tickle him back. It made our day. He was like a friend. Advising me on what to do with women, discussing random stuff and cracking filthy jokes.

Fortunately, Papa didn't suffer too much. It started with a back pain last Saturday and culminated with death last evening. He lived life on his terms and he died on his terms too. And I am grateful for that. He died of an aortal aneursym (not sure if the spelling is correct) that was caused due to constant smoking over 30 years. We would always tell him to smoke and drink less. It would work sometimes and sometimes it wouldn't.

Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not. I loved him with my heart and soul. I was the one who tried to get him to change, to start living healthy while Amma was the one who would go soft on him. The three of us were great together.

While I am tempted to be selfish and feel sorry for myself in not having Papa around anymore, I know that he has gone to a place where he will be happier. He will get a fresh start (I believe in reincarnation) and get another chance to fulfil his amazing potential. It was best for him. And as I said earlier, he died dignified. No extra tubes artificially keeping his body alive while his soul was dead. He died a good man. A simple soul. A man who I will always look up to and someone whose spirit will be with me and Amma always.

I miss you Papa. Although every cell in my body wishes you were here with us today, I have faith that you had better things in store for you. Thank you for spending the time that you did with Amma and me. Our lives would have been poorer without you.

16 comments:

haathi said...

hi ajeya dada..im still in shock over whats happened, it was all too soon for anybody to really make sense of it all. we're all with you and jayakka. our deepest condolences are with you.

EspritNoir said...

hi ajeya,
at moments like these words seem so shallow, so inadequate. deepest condolences to you and your mother. wish you all the best to hold strong for yourself, and your mother. take care.

mandar talvekar said...

Hey Ajeya,
I am very sorry about your father's passing away. It's very difficult to know what exactly to say in such times. . . but i do pray and hope that you and your mother find the strength and the love to help and support each other.
Take care.

Nandita said...

Hi Ajeya,
Am so sorry. You're in my prayers. Do take care.

ramblingmuse said...

Ajeya,

I'm sorry to hear about this.

Biggest hugs to you and to your family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care,
RM

akshay said...

I'm sorry, Ajeya. A prayer for your father, and for your mother and you.

Alexys Fairfield said...

My heartfelt condolences. He has left you with fond memories that will fill your heart forever. Sending blessing to you and your family.

Ajeya said...

Thank you everybody for your kind wishes. We are still recovering from the shock of it all. However, my mother and me will come out stronger. Thank you so much for being there.

Dhanuska said...

Hey Ajeya,

Sorry to hear about your dad passing away but as I've always believed, these are times when the family grows closer.

U take care, and know that we are all just a call away.

Archana

Noojes said...

Gosh Ajeya

No words I say will be enough

Here's a huge hug for you with my deepest prayers...

I myself am grieving, my cusions 12 year old daughter passed away suddenly on sunday afternoon from meningitis. It was a matter of 36 hours and she passed away. Shocking. Especially since she was in India on a vacation (She lives in the states)

My prayers are with you

Noojes

namrata said...

hey ajeya,
im so sorry. do take care. deepest condolences to you and your mother..tc.

angela said...

Ajeya, I'm so sorry about your loss. Take care. Love and prayers.

ramblingmuse said...

Hi Ajeya,

Still thinking about you...hope you're doing ok! :-)

Love,
RM

Noojes said...

Came looking for you...

Hope you are better

noojes

Ajeya said...

thanks for being there everyone. it's been a tough couple of weeks. will post more soon. sorry about your niece noojes. strength to the family.

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