Happy Birthday Papa

My old man would've turned 60 on Jan 18, 2008. Funny thing is, a few of his friends still called in to wish us, they spoke with my mother, laughed, cried and reminisced about the times they spent with him.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about him, when I don't feel his happy, gentle spirit by my side. I am blessed to have had a father like him. Thank you, Papa. I hope you're happy wherever you are.

Marathoning

It's that time of the year again. It's marathon time. A time I always look forward to. I haven't been to any other marathon but the Mumbai Marathon is special for me. The spirit that you see, the camaraderie, the charity that is done through it and the overall feel-good factor is huge.

It's amazing to see thousands of people coming out on Sunday morning to support a variety of causes and not-for-profits, to see groups of people running on the streets on Sundays in the lead up to the marathon, to come across random folks on the road who'll give you the thumbs-up when you go past.

How do you capture moments like that? It's one of those moments you live your life for.

Mumbai Marathon, here I come.

French Royalty in India?

The heir apparent to the now defunct French throne supposedly lives in Bhopal, India. How random is that?!?!

Click here to read the story.

Taare Zameen Par - My Take

One of the nicest Hindi movies I've watched in a while.

While the movie's message is really nice, its significance in our society, conservative as we are, is even more so. If you're not a doctor, engineer or an MBA in India, you're pretty much nothing.

We're a society that craves pigeon-holing people in order to simplify our world-view and create a hierarchy where there is none. The "smartest" people do engineering and medicine. The left-overs do an MBA to catch up with them. Of course, if you're an engineer and an MBA, you've got the sun shining out of your ass. Never mind that you have no idea how to treat other people with respect or that you have no skills apart from being this bad-ass number cruncher.

The point of the movie is this, each one has something special that he or she brings into the world. Yes, some of these may not be encashable gifts, but they are gifts nonetheless. No one should make you feel any the less.

I remember going through school as an average student and we were always made to feel like that. Average. Everything I was came summarized in this little piece of paper we got twice or thrice a year with a bunch of numbers on them. They called them report cards. Looking back, if I had a choice, I'd use them as ass-wipes.

What I'm getting at is that people are always trying to compartmentalise us right through life. It starts when you step into school and never stops after that. You fail a Math test in fifth grade and suddenly you're labeled "dull". No one cares that you may have problems at home, or that you may have a problem with numbers but are great at singing. Nope. You're dull. And you live with that tag, thinking you're just average unless you look around and ask questions. Not just of society, but of your own false self-image that you've created as a result of other people's opinions.

For me, the movie is a reminder to not judge people merely on achievement. People are far too complex to be able to slot them in little silos. The if-s/he-can-do-this-then-s/he-can-do-that argument doesn't work in life. Some of the most beautiful people I've met haven't achieved much. For me though, it's enough that they're beautiful people. No award or degree would make them any more or less special.

Life isn't simple. But that doesn't make it less beautiful.

Been a while...

Yeah, it's been a while since I've come by here. I've just been sucked into work stuff and by the time I come back, I'm too knackered to post anything on to the blog.

Anywho, my only new year resolution is to give me some more personal time. And that includes posting more regularly.

I can't believe we're in 2008 already. It feels like 2007 just whizzed by. All in all a good year, but a good year to come to an end as well :) It was a strange year though. It started off wonderfully and suddenly everything fell apart early into the year. The engagement break-up took a lot out of me and I've learnt to be a little wiser before getting into arranged setups. Ignorance is not always bliss. Since then, it's been a process of rebuilding, rethinking and starting from scratch in many ways.

Going back to my old job has been good. I've really enjoyed my time at work. I must confess I complain sometimes, but all in all, I'm happy with work. I think the best part about the office is that I've been fortunate to meet wonderful people at work. Folks I can hang out with outside of office and yet not talk about work.

Apart from work, I think I've been getting trashed too often so I'm going to take it easy on the drinking this year. I drink only on weekends, but the number of times I've woken up the next morning not remembering stuff that happened the previous night has been more frequent than I would've liked.

Strangely, I've also been feeling much fitter than I did in 2006. The new gym has been excellent. Good trainers, a professional setup and I look forward to going there every morning.

On the dating front, nothing to write home about. I did meet interesting people in 2007, one of them was really nice, but it didn't work out. I'm not complaining. You can't fuck with destiny.

In short, life has been good to me in 2007. I've had some super moments and some nasty lows. But that's how it rolls I guess. I've got everything I could've wanted... a loving family, great friends and a lot of other stuff. Thank you, 2007. And welcome to you, 2008.

Hope you have a great year ahead! :)

When did...

... a bigger car become a better drive?

... a fancier house become a beautiful home?

... a faster computer mean better use of technology?

... a lot of knowledge come to be seen as true wisdom?

... more become better?

Worth Reading

Here's a post written by a friend of mine, Alexys. Really nice.

Thus spake Albert Camus...

"I had been right, I was still right, I was always right. I had lived my life one way and I could just as well have lived it another."

Couldn't have said it better.

Borat Gets Another Fan

Okay folks, I know I'm a bit of a late bloomer as far as this movie is concerned but I watched it only this weekend and it cracked me up! LOL

I swear, my stomach was killing me! I haven't seen more repulsive imagery in a long long time and I haven't laughed so hard in years!

My favourite scene in the movie is when Borat and Azamat (or whatever his name is) are standing in the elevator butt-naked and the other people's reactions...

Tears of laughter were streaming down my face!!! hahah... I kid you... NOT!

If you haven't watched this flick and are in a retarded mood, don't look much further.

Borat's opening dialogue...

"My name Borat. I like you. I like sex. Is nice!"

Why Are/Aren't We Happy?

Heck, I don't have the answers. But this video is pretty damn interesting. Enjoy!



If you have problems viewing the video here, click here. It might be easier.

I'm craving Indian Chinese Food...

1. A yummy steamed moon faan rice (with mushrooms)
2. Tofu, snowpeas, broccoli in black bean sauce (sorry, I'm vegetarian :P )... go to item 7 on list if you've read items 3, 4, 5 and 6 already
*drools on keyboard*
3. No I did not!!! ;)
4. Oh I forgot, a vegetable manchow soup to start with
5. Fried corn curd (c'mon.. even you non-vegetarians love this!)
6. Now go to item 1 on this list
7. and a to-die-for date pancake with vanilla ice-cream to end the meal
8. Bliss :)
9. Any guesses why I didn't continue writing computer programs? :)

OR

1. The Quick Wok at All Stir Fry (Gordon House Hotel, Colaba)

I seriously need to drag my ass to China Gate, Ling's Pavilion or All Stir Fry tonight.

What I would do for a Chinese meal now...

So I Changed My Mind

Yeah, I decided to come back to this little space. Dunno, just felt I had stuff to say and nowhere to say it anymore. I felt like blogging after ages and this is really the only place I know.

Anyway, lots has happened since I blogged here last... I'm back to single life, I've started on my new old job and I'm enjoying myself with the fun people at my office, I now carpool with a couple of colleagues from work and I'm really really grateful that they are tolerant of me! (Yeah, I like my carpool :) )I've joined this really expensive *shudders* gym close to home in the hope that it will help me get my half-marathon time under 2 hours (two weeks and I have to say it kicks ass!), the social life has shifted up a few notches which of course means my video-gaming skills have taken a beating (I'm not complaining), I attempted yet another long distance relationship (old habits die hard).. which reminds me, I want to watch Die Hard 4.0 tomorrow! Deep down I know I'm not going to like it but the first two parts were awesome!

In case you haven't noticed, I've also become really random.

Besides that... umm... YEAHAAA... I got me a tattoo!!!!!! on my lower neck/back and I absolutely love it!!! Yeah people, I got inked. Don't believe me?

Here you go

Coming Back To Life

One of my favourite songs ever...

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun

The Death of a Blog

Hello Folks,

It is the time to ring in some changes. I've been blogging here since June 2005 and it has been my faithful ally in the best and worst of times. I've had the chance to meet some wonderful people through here who have humored, inspired, entertained and mesmerised me with their writing.

I have shared some of my deepest thoughts here, some of my rants and a lot of general observations about life and its strange ways.

The time has come to move on. I wont be blogging actively from here on but I will continue to drop in on the numerous blogs I've had the good fortune of stumbling upon.

So here's where 'Ajeya' says goodbye to you. Will he ever return to the blogosphere? Possible. But definitely in a new avatar. I value the friends I've made through here and I wish all of you the very best in the years to come. Reading your blogs has definitely made my life richer.

Au Revoir!

Peace.

Observation

I was just coming up in the elevator with a nieghbour and I asked about her dog, Rani, a female. Turns out Rani's quite a handful and requires more attention than her more pedigreed friends. When I asked why, without batting an eyelid she replied by saying 'She's a female.'

Clouded

It's weird how things seem to be going just fine when, suddenly, something blows up in your face.

I was shocked last weekend by what I heard about someone close to me. It's about the person's past and it could have a huge impact on our relationship. I'm emotionally confused and drained right now.

Some of the questions that are lingering in my head...
...what would drive someone to behave like that?
...what if I have to deal with that kind of behaviour?
...how do I accept such dark truths about someone?
...how am I to feel about the person now?

I'm confused, dazed and shocked and right now I'm struggling to cope.

My mind has never been so clouded.

Just looking forward to the new old job in April.

Back Where I Belong

I didn't want to post about this earlier but I'm happy to say I'm moving back to a company I have worked with earlier. When I look back on my fledgling career, this is the one company I've been really proud to work for. Of course there have been moments of disappointment and disgust, but all in all, it's like going back home. Back to the wonderful friends I made, the cafeteria where a lot more than lunch and coffee happens (ahem ahem) and moments when you'll ask yourself "Is this really work?"

I remember there was this one project we worked on where each of us on the team wrote short scripts for a kid's program. Those brainstorming sessions were something else! They were ridiculous! :) Even thinking of them makes me smile.

At the same time, I'm aware that each company has its drawbacks. At someplaces you'll get loads of money but rather crappy work and at others, you'll get great work but not-so-great money. There's always a trade-off somewhere.

One of the little lessons life has taught me is to not expect too much out of it. Expectations, in my opinion, are bad, bad friends to have. They can really mess you up. When there are no expectations, you learn to to deal with the shit that gets thrown your way and enjoy the unexpected highs. Life becomes a roller-coaster you can enjoy rather than having to throw up midway through the ride. That's why I'm not expecting this job change to be all that I have dreamt of. It isn't. But it is a step in the right direction.

So come April, I will be back where I belong.

I Really Do Wish

Life has been moving at pace way to fast for me in the last month. Lots of family dinners celebrating the engagement and simply unreal work pressure. I haven't had too much time with myself. Alone, quiet moments in the evening by the sea at Cuffe Parade overlooking Nariman Point and Queen's Necklace. Watching the lights twinkle in distance. Listening to the voices of the ocean waves.

Instead, it's been a big flurry of activity. Most of it fun and some not-so-fun. The only time I usually get to spend with myself is on my long drive to and from work. Music has been my only solace.

Today's drive was sad though. Maybe it was my dream about my father. Having to say bye to him as he seemed to be floating away and there was nothing to do but stand and watch. It was a really sad dream. And while I was thinking of all this, Floyd came up on the mp3 player with 'Wish you were here'. It made me think of Papa even more and I sang to him...

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

I really do wish

Words to Live By

I think I mentioned I was reading about Sufism in some of my earlier posts. One thought that really struck me are the words of the great Sufi master Hazrat Inayat Khan. He says...

"Even the punishment of the God of compassion is in itself a reward."

Words that I will always try to keep in my consciousness.

Memoirs of a Laid-back Rebel

What you're going to read is an excerpt from a rather nice book I'm reading called "Bombay to Eternity" by Uma Ranganathan. In my mind, this (although I haven't finished reading the book yet) is the best passage from the book....

"How trusting can one afford to be in life? you invariably ask yourself, surrounded as you are by a world full of suspicion and betrayal. Until another question occurs to you and that is: can one afford to live without trust in this world? Words, you might be saying to yourself as you read this. Nothing but semantics. So, let's get to the bottom of the whole business and see whom or what it is we are supposed to trust and why.

Today, when I look at it, I see that trust has to do with something much larger than yourself or anybody you know. Trust, at its deepest, is what you feel towards an intelligence infinitely superior to your own and which you sense is guiding you from some spot you can't quite pinpoint. It is what you feel for the nebulous presence from which you emerged and which is - and always will be - more to you than any living person on earth. You feel it for the simple reason that you are - we all are - finally, children of that nameless cloud.

The sad thing is you don't recognize it anymore. You've switched your allegiance, as you grew up, from that which was true and eternal to something that will fade with time.

Trust. You lose it. Your connection with your true parent and with yourself dwindles, you fall out of the hallowed state, your mind starts closing its doors. Before you know it, you are no longer God the Baby wanting to experience the human side. You've been pulled over across a kind of fence in the mind to become 'one of them'. A Hindu, a Christian, a Muslim or a Jain. A bus driver, engineer, doctor, social worker. Your trust is now reserved for those who look like you, talk like you, think like you. You're finished. It's a long way back to where you came from."

It left me with an awkward lump in my throat.